Recalculating

Just got back from a whirlwind trip to Virginia, a suburb right outside of Washington, DC.
I was totally in awe of the green trees, and trees and shrubs in bloom. Not so in northeast New York. That part of spring is still in our future. I actually noticed my allergies responding to the pollen. Crazy.

From Crazy as a Loom

On the way down, we relied on our GPS, whose name I cannot repeat, as this is a family friendly blog.
At any rate, in Delaware, I think that's where it was, there was a lot of very new looking road construction. Since we hadn't updated her in 2 years, it threw her into a tizzy, and she said what she always says when my husband screws up and doesn't listen to her: "Recalculating."
And she has a tone, an attitude kind of tone. You know exactly what I mean, don't you?
Recalculating.
What a term.
I find myself thinking that I am grateful that some things are in my past, and not in my future.
Worrying about money issues, working two jobs, raising children issues, divorce, dating, visitation, child support, child care. Starting over. And over.
There are plenty of times in my life, when I should have recalculated, and didn't. I preferred my own picturesque imaginings of how things were, rather than what I knew in my heart to be true. Then there the times that I should have recalculated, and did. They were tough times. It isn't easy to change the status quo, even when you know you need to.
But I believe that we all have an internal GPS. I know I do.
Sometimes we turn the volume down. Sometimes we just don't listen. Sometimes, we forget to update. But I think we know, on some level, more than we want to admit to. Sometimes, we leave the GPS home in the junk drawer.
We really don't want to hear: "Recalculate."
When in fact, it is often just the sound of a door opening.
For me, it was the sound of finding my way here.

From Crazy as a Loom

Weaving tomorrow. Ah, serenity.